I had the opportunity to attend A-Kon, an anime/sci-fi/comic book convention, this past weekend in Dallas. It was a pretty large event and had a tremendous turnout. The entire experience for me was filled with realizations, lessons learned and milestones. To say I had fun would be an accurate statement, but to say I enjoyed myself completely would not. The latter is not necessarily anyone's fault; I think it may be, as my old compatriots used to accuse me, that I'm thinking too much. But since that's what I do and how I write this blog, I'm at least going to put down my thoughts here.
Texas is an interesting place. For the most part, I've enjoyed my stay in Texas; They are a unique sort of people and approach things with an enthusiasm rarely found elsewhere in the US. They are also more traditional in their approach to societal roles and problems, which might be viewed as backwards by people from elsewhere in the country, but to be honest, I usually like it. It feels secure, orderly and acknowledges the wisdom of those who came before and whom established those traditions. Well, some do. But ah, now I'm trailing off. Bottom line, they have their problems like anyone else, but they are traditional.
Nowhere is this traditional approach to societal roles more apparent than the dynamic disparity between the "jocks" and the "nerds", or should I say, the nerds and everyone else. Being nerdy has become somewhat normalized and accepted in the past decade or so in the US. When I was growing up, nerdiness usually meant one was isolated from the rest of the popular group for any combination of an obscure hobby with intelligence, obsessive traits and physical awkwardness. A nerd was the little guy; the oppressed minority in some cases and most assuredly not cool. Now it seems, through a variety of factors, that a significant portion of people everywhere, to some varying degree, has a bit of nerd interest within them. No longer is it limited to those with "societal handicaps". Whether they are a casual video gamer or got into sci-fi or whatever (the situations are too numerous to list or speculate) it seems, especially this new generation, is populated by nerds.
This blurring of the line defining the deviant nerd does not seem to have taken root in Texas. In my experience, if it isn't sports, pop music, or sex, most people likely won't know it. Everything is big in Texas, as they say, which includes divides between groups. And here the nerd seems to be every bit the stereotype (minus the pocket protector and horn-rimmed glasses) we've all cemented into our mass consciousness.
There were interesting reactions to the nerds attending by the people who were not. My own sister-in-law got heckled as we left the tram station. People were quite literally staring wide-eyed and confused at the masses of costumed attendees. Those brave enough to ask had no clue what "anime" or japanese animation was.
My reasons for attending conventions(cons) has shifted over the years. Nowadays I attend mostly for insider panels conducted by industry professionals and art lessons, etc. At this con I couldn't help but notice the significant number of people who attended panels regarding self-publishing or hoped to somehow break into the comic book/video game industry. While it's only natural to want to have a job where you can do what you love and/or play and get paid for it, I couldn't help but feel sorry for a lot of these people for a variety of reasons.
As one panelist stated, everyone thinks that they are a good writer, with the unspoken, understood clause afterward of "they likely are not". Everyone in the West who loves fiction seems to want to tell a story; the question is whether that story is worth telling. A person is free to write and create what he wishes for himself, by all means- every artist should write what they would want to read. Just don't expect anyone else to want to read it.
A successful story needs to truly stand out in some way and draw people in. The crashing anime industry should be a testament to this. There is a ton of crappy, knock-off, formulaic anime out there. The old adage of "every story has already been told" still rings true, but the themes can be re-worked into interesting ways. When I was a teen, anime was rare and as an enthusiast for the art style alone, I would watch whatever I could find, even if it was lousy (I even watched Sailor Moon to a degree, which for the uninformed is meant for girls). Now, anime is everywhere. What was once exotic and trendy has become commonplace and its merits able to be evaluated more objectively. As an aspiring writer/artist I hold myself to the same uncompromising standard. There is an ultra-surplus of writing and art, so how do I stand out? (As an aside I highly recommend the book "How NOT To Draw Manga". It is as informative as it is hilarious and brilliantly derisive.)
My favorite panel was probably the one where they began by warning that they were going to disillusion everyone regarding the industry, writing and self-publishing by giving cold hard facts. I do so love the truth. You have to face the truth to wash away the smoke of ignorant wishing so you can see if there is any substance beneath it.
One of the things I noted about all the creators and panelists was that they all had excellent communication skills and passion for what they did. I think this is absolutely essential to being able to tell a good story, let alone to market yourself. I saw so many attendees who could barely speak up and form a question or simply express themselves clearly. Perhaps I'm writing them off too soon, but it seems to be a key external defining trait that divides the doers from the pipe dreamers.
Right now you may be thinking, "Well, you haven't published anything either," and that's a very fair rebuttal. It also ties into one of the realizations I had this weekend. I think I have all the tools I need to do my projects. I keep waiting for that perfect moment when all my ducks are in a row and I know everything I need to. I think I've been at that point for awhile now and have been too hesitant or lazy to just take the leap. I did learn one new trick for my art (and I found that apparently I'm already at an intermediate level for Copic markers. Who knew?) But in regard to storytelling and publishing, I learned absolutely nothing new. That's not to say the panels were bad- far from it. They were very well done and communicated great information. It's just I already knew the information and that means I have no excuse not to have begun.
Reaching back, more of the reason I pitied a lot of these fans was that they seemed so hopeless. Nerds by reputation are obsessive about something. What I saw was that their obsession seemed to define them- not in the way people latch onto their jobs or creativity or something. I'm talking about an obsession that produces nothing. It is an obsession that defines them based on what someone else produces. I'm not sure what to think of all that right now. I did see a couple guys who embodied the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons which also made me laugh and despair at the same time. He had the cynicism, the unmerited condescension and criticism, the shorts, the gut... you get the idea. No ponytail though; just a bald spot like friar tuck. It reminded me of when I attended BJU around 2001 and I saw (completely serious and fully represented) a group of 1950's-esque stereotypical nerds, with the glasses and calculator and everything, talking about Star Trek. I assume they traveled in packs to guard against predators.
On to other things.
Going to a big convention such as this is a sensory overload. There is so much to do and see and, tying into what I said before regarding anime, what once was exotic and rare is now commonplace. I'm sure there was a lot of good stuff, from artists to merchandise that I simply overlooked due to the sheer volume of its kind present. There were a ton of cosplayers there as well with, as is typical, a varying degree of quality to the costumes (and to the appropriateness of said cosplayer parading around in said costume). What has become a cringing joke regarding obese, pimply nerds dressed up in skin tight, revealing outfits from their favorite fiction held true at A-Kon. But there were also the leaner, attractive ones who pulled off their costumes well. The latter I used to be able to enjoy and even look forward to in past years. This year I could not, and I realized why: I'm old.
Seeing a revealing, meticulous, fantastically crafted costume of a fictional character worn by a fit, attractive woman is the stuff of male nerd dreams. However, the generation after me has started to grow up, and those young girls are taking up the looks of their heroines as well. At times it can be difficult to assess the age of a particular attractive woman, a term known as "jailbait". Young girls try to look older and more mature while older women try to retain the beauty of their youth. So while you may see a female wearing what one might otherwise consider sexy or just interesting, the ambiguous age ruins the experience. I'm not sure if there is anything more unnerving at my age (and it'll only get worse) than being unsure if you're staring at a minor and thus are in the "creepy older guy" role. Given that I could confidently assess that a large majority of the convention was made up by teenagers, I simply put my blinders on and didn't look at anyone. This probably made me look like a jerk, or perhaps just uncomfortable as I navigated the crowds trying not to look at people.
The Dealer's Room was something I have to admit I was disappointed with. Perhaps I'm showing my age or obscure taste, but I couldn't really find anything I liked there. Conventions are odd experiences if you're anything like me. I did pick up a few items, along with a hint of guilt for the purchase. Since conventions are such rarely attended events for me, I almost treat them the way a person who doesn't live in Florida or California would approach visiting Disney World. At Disney World, you will often pay twice the cost what you would typically consider paying for merchandise because, after all "It's a special occasion". I admit I reluctantly overpaid significantly on a model kit for that very justification. But other than that, I didn't find anything I liked save for a butt-load of novelty t-shirts, of which I really don't need any further.
Nerd stuff aside, we stayed at the Crowne Plaza in downtown Dallas. I have to say I was very disappointed with that place. Granted, the convention had made a deal with the hotel for special rates, but we were stuck in what I consider a shoddy room. It was clean, sure, but from the start, there were problems such as unmarked wet paint on the door which got all over my wife as we entered. The walls were paper thin and we could hear everything going on in the room adjacent to us, which got worse at 3am as I was woken up by loud, drunken nerds cackling and hitting the wall so hard that it knocked my bed around. My wife commented in her exhausted delirium that she had "never wanted to strangle an otaku so much." I complained a couple times and requested a reduced rate for the room. I told the very kind clerk that I realized I was paying in part for the location of the hotel, but that I felt I "could get better quality going to a Best Western off the interstate." He cringed noticeably and knocked the cost down a good chunk. Got a free breakfast which was nice too.
Speaking of location, given we were downtown and surrounded by companies and banking institutions, I was amazed at the number of homeless people there, particularly at the tram station that ran through the center. We gave a lot of money to a variety of people we encountered, which is fine, but I guess I'm just not used to that. Granted, going to a big city is always an eye opener for me. I know there are homeless people who are just down on their luck and of no fault of their own necessarily, ("The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike") but I was also amazed at the volume of them who seemed to literally be mentally unstable. On a humorous note, there was even a homeless guy yelling at another homeless guy across the tracks for "going through his trash". I suppose living a life like that could be very psychologically unhinging over time so it may be one of those "walk a mile in their shoes" situations.
All in all, A-Kon was a nice experience and unusually exhausting. Maybe I'll attend again next year.
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