If January was a satisfying month because of disciplined accomplishment, February was the opposite. Roadblock after roadblock has sprung up to not only scramble my work schedule, but give my weak side license to procrastinate or cheat on my diet.
It's almost March and I have yet to draw the first page of my comic. I intend to remedy that this morning.
I made a rather large print sign for me to see every time I sit down at my PC. It says "IF YOU EVER WANT TO LEAVE THE MILITARY, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE TODAY".
Sorry for the caps, but it's deliberately stressed to get through my thick skull. I am the king of procrastinators. I suppose I could change it to "If you want to be FREE, do not procrastinate today". Because that's what this is about to a degree. Leaving the military and being my own boss is about me being free from the circumstances that have both been thrust upon me and that I have reaped from my folly.
So here's to another month.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Just pray
I've been building the new webcomic site via WordPress and fighting with it a lot, but I'm making progress in little steps here and there. This weekend I hope to finish a page or two and see how the thing handles them. I need to get some serious work done with this before March, because Dragon Age II will be out and I am basically worthless for a solid month when Bioware releases a new game.
This has been a frustrating couple of weeks, I have to say. I want to keep this blog upbeat and not a series of broody scribblings, but here we are. I curbed my physical fitness because we had two incapacitating snow storms on two separate weeks and got snowed in. And I ran out of Whey Protein so I didn't have any fuel to repair my body after training. These set backs aren't anything major, but it is a bit frustrating given that I'm entered into a 12-week contest and I lost 2 weeks. If that was my biggest problem, I'd say I'm doing just fine.
Work has been a roller coaster of emotions due to management. The Air Force has always filled me with mixed emotions. Even though I love being a teacher, I can't escape the asinine AF mentality that permeated the job I had before this. I think I handle it a bit better now.
The biggest news is one I'd rather not go into too much detail with. I know this blog is for me, but it is still technically public even if nobody reads it. My sister was beaten up twice in varying degrees by her boyfriend, and just writing that makes me furious. I would love to bring some justice to the guy who did this to her, but I can't help but think she'll just find another one. Her taste in men and outright good sense has not improved it seems.
My mom filled me in since they're on the other side of the country. What's odd to me at least, is my mom stated that I'm the only one of her kids that doesn't seem to have any personality problems. I give credit to God for preserving me and keeping me from a lot of foolish desires, let alone misfortune. However, I can't help but wonder if I'm not going to snap down the road when I'm about 40. Given that my grandmother has dementia, I suppose you could say it makes me a little paranoid about myself in regard to genetics at least. Even if that isn't a factor, I think it's safe to say I carry around a lot of anger, on the surface or buried and forgotten, toward certain things that I hope one day doesn't come to a boiling point. Just talking tonight with a friend from work got me unexpectedly into a bad mood as we rehashed the garbage I've gone through in my AF career.
I have come to terms with the fact that I was a very hurt, angry young man in my 20's, and thanks be to God, I have gotten better. But it has not been easy; my wife can attest to this. She has put up with a lot from me that she honestly never should have had to. Trust in and pursuit of God seems to have gotten me this far, so I'll just keep doing that. I just pray my sister recovers and gets her priorities straight.
Top this off with terrible sleep, bizarre-if-not-distressing dreams, besetting sin habits, spiritual perseverance, and problems with the wife, and I'd say I'm fairly exasperated. But to God be the glory.
This has been a frustrating couple of weeks, I have to say. I want to keep this blog upbeat and not a series of broody scribblings, but here we are. I curbed my physical fitness because we had two incapacitating snow storms on two separate weeks and got snowed in. And I ran out of Whey Protein so I didn't have any fuel to repair my body after training. These set backs aren't anything major, but it is a bit frustrating given that I'm entered into a 12-week contest and I lost 2 weeks. If that was my biggest problem, I'd say I'm doing just fine.
Work has been a roller coaster of emotions due to management. The Air Force has always filled me with mixed emotions. Even though I love being a teacher, I can't escape the asinine AF mentality that permeated the job I had before this. I think I handle it a bit better now.
The biggest news is one I'd rather not go into too much detail with. I know this blog is for me, but it is still technically public even if nobody reads it. My sister was beaten up twice in varying degrees by her boyfriend, and just writing that makes me furious. I would love to bring some justice to the guy who did this to her, but I can't help but think she'll just find another one. Her taste in men and outright good sense has not improved it seems.
My mom filled me in since they're on the other side of the country. What's odd to me at least, is my mom stated that I'm the only one of her kids that doesn't seem to have any personality problems. I give credit to God for preserving me and keeping me from a lot of foolish desires, let alone misfortune. However, I can't help but wonder if I'm not going to snap down the road when I'm about 40. Given that my grandmother has dementia, I suppose you could say it makes me a little paranoid about myself in regard to genetics at least. Even if that isn't a factor, I think it's safe to say I carry around a lot of anger, on the surface or buried and forgotten, toward certain things that I hope one day doesn't come to a boiling point. Just talking tonight with a friend from work got me unexpectedly into a bad mood as we rehashed the garbage I've gone through in my AF career.
I have come to terms with the fact that I was a very hurt, angry young man in my 20's, and thanks be to God, I have gotten better. But it has not been easy; my wife can attest to this. She has put up with a lot from me that she honestly never should have had to. Trust in and pursuit of God seems to have gotten me this far, so I'll just keep doing that. I just pray my sister recovers and gets her priorities straight.
Top this off with terrible sleep, bizarre-if-not-distressing dreams, besetting sin habits, spiritual perseverance, and problems with the wife, and I'd say I'm fairly exasperated. But to God be the glory.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Accomplishment
SO week 4 is upon me for the Body Transformation challenge. Week 3 was a bit erratic. I had a PT test (which I performed well on) and 3 days involving my Cardiac Workup. Apparently, my heart is awesome, but I have slightly high cholesterol. But at least I don't seem to have heart disease like the rest of my family.
That aside, I finished my submission for the Megaman Tribute book. It took me over 20 hours, but I think it came out nicely. It's hard to say whether I'll be acceepted, but I have high hopes. Honestly, I wish I was ambivalent about it so I would be honestly surprised if accepted and not so let down if rejected.
I'm still cranking away on Seraph, though I didn't get any pages done like I had wanted. But I don't feel like I've wasted my time. That's a nice change for me.
My New Years resolutions basically revolved around 2 themes: fear and laziness. My wife and I talk often and regret comes up sometimes. She thinks I have regrets as if I haven't had certain opportunities in life and am always looking to the next big thing. That's not true.
The truth is, I have had numerous amazing opportunities come to me in life. I have had so much privilege and blessing. But I've either been too afraid to step out and take a risk to embrace the blessing, or I've been too lazy to sow the seed of the blessing and make something more of it.
So, that's what I've been fighting: fear and laziness. And that's why January has been a satisfying month.
That aside, I finished my submission for the Megaman Tribute book. It took me over 20 hours, but I think it came out nicely. It's hard to say whether I'll be acceepted, but I have high hopes. Honestly, I wish I was ambivalent about it so I would be honestly surprised if accepted and not so let down if rejected.
I'm still cranking away on Seraph, though I didn't get any pages done like I had wanted. But I don't feel like I've wasted my time. That's a nice change for me.
My New Years resolutions basically revolved around 2 themes: fear and laziness. My wife and I talk often and regret comes up sometimes. She thinks I have regrets as if I haven't had certain opportunities in life and am always looking to the next big thing. That's not true.
The truth is, I have had numerous amazing opportunities come to me in life. I have had so much privilege and blessing. But I've either been too afraid to step out and take a risk to embrace the blessing, or I've been too lazy to sow the seed of the blessing and make something more of it.
So, that's what I've been fighting: fear and laziness. And that's why January has been a satisfying month.
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