Just pray

I've been building the new webcomic site via WordPress and fighting with it a lot, but I'm making progress in little steps here and there. This weekend I hope to finish a page or two and see how the thing handles them. I need to get some serious work done with this before March, because Dragon Age II will be out and I am basically worthless for a solid month when Bioware releases a new game.

This has been a frustrating couple of weeks, I have to say. I want to keep this blog upbeat and not a series of broody scribblings, but here we are. I curbed my physical fitness because we had two incapacitating snow storms on two separate weeks and got snowed in. And I ran out of Whey Protein so I didn't have any fuel to repair my body after training. These set backs aren't anything major, but it is a bit frustrating given that I'm entered into a 12-week contest and I lost 2 weeks. If that was my biggest problem, I'd say I'm doing just fine.

Work has been a roller coaster of emotions due to management. The Air Force has always filled me with mixed emotions. Even though I love being a teacher, I can't escape the asinine AF mentality that permeated the job I had before this. I think I handle it a bit better now.

The biggest news is one I'd rather not go into too much detail with. I know this blog is for me, but it is still technically public even if nobody reads it. My sister was beaten up twice in varying degrees by her boyfriend, and just writing that makes me furious. I would love to bring some justice to the guy who did this to her, but I can't help but think she'll just find another one. Her taste in men and outright good sense has not improved it seems.

My mom filled me in since they're on the other side of the country. What's odd to me at least, is my mom stated that I'm the only one of her kids that doesn't seem to have any personality problems. I give credit to God for preserving me and keeping me from a lot of foolish desires, let alone misfortune. However, I can't help but wonder if I'm not going to snap down the road when I'm about 40. Given that my grandmother has dementia, I suppose you could say it makes me a little paranoid about myself in regard to genetics at least. Even if that isn't a factor, I think it's safe to say I carry around a lot of anger, on the surface or buried and forgotten, toward certain things that I hope one day doesn't come to a boiling point. Just talking tonight with a friend from work got me unexpectedly into a bad mood as we rehashed the garbage I've gone through in my AF career.

I have come to terms with the fact that I was a very hurt, angry young man in my 20's, and thanks be to God, I have gotten better. But it has not been easy; my wife can attest to this. She has put up with a lot from me that she honestly never should have had to. Trust in and pursuit of God seems to have gotten me this far, so I'll just keep doing that. I just pray my sister recovers and gets her priorities straight.

Top this off with terrible sleep, bizarre-if-not-distressing dreams, besetting sin habits, spiritual perseverance, and problems with the wife, and I'd say I'm fairly exasperated. But to God be the glory.